Saying Good Bye

Well...
 I am done. I said good bye to him. It was so hard but i did it, i had to. I feel so different, i feel like a big weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Now i don't have to cry myself to sleep anymore. I am going to follow Gods word and guard my heart : Proverbs 4:23 <3
I know God has something great in store for me. I know he is planning my future husband right now.
All i have to do is wait, let him come and find me, let him chase me.
I should have listen to everyone before. But i am listening now and i am letting go of everything and i am finally happy. So Thank you everyone who had helped me with my ups and downs on this guy.

New Challange

A couple days ago was a big challange i have yet to overcome, Its been a process but i have come to my senses that what is best for me is to move on and not to dwell on the past.

But since a new challange awaits
I have been feeling so alone with no one to talk to, All my friends judge me and tell me that i am wrong, Why? Because i am wrong.

My only family that i have is my Dad, And all he ever cares about it me getting good grades. I cant talk to him about ANYTHING with out him telling me to "SHUT UP" or "LEAVE ME ALONE".
I don't want to stay here anymore, i need to get away. But i can't do that. I feel trapped and sad and alone.

I can't talk to my friends about anything anymore. I have so many secrets that i keep from everyone and everything is getting bottled up inside. They always tell me that i am wrong or that i need to change something about myself, No one has my back. Yes i love my friends but i wish i can have that one speacial person that i can tell almost anything to without getting judged or hurt by them.

All i have is my music and God. Thats everything that i need to get by right?

Challenges

I want to share all of my challenges and life experiences with everyone :)

Of course, one challenge that most teenage girls go through IS BOYS!
Well, I have a story to tell all of you guys. I was in strong like with this guy (not saying any names).
All of my friends told me he was a player, but of course me being my naive self chose not to listen.
He told me all the stuff I wanted to hear, he flirted with me, he hugged me, he told me he wanted to kiss me, and I shared a whole bunch of secrets with him. He told me that there was another girl that he was practically in love with, but he was trying to forget about her. Well, at least that's what he told me. This girl had a boyfriend and he knew that. Even though, she had a boyfriend she still flirted with him. At first I didn't care, I thought he was going to get over her eventually. As time went on I grew very strong feelings for him. He always told me he was afraid of losing me to someone better. I told him I was afraid of losing him to her, but he said don't worry I like you.

Well yesterday afternoon I found out something. One of my friends told me that she knew the girl that the guy likes. She told me that the girl knows who I am, so I asked "yeah what did she say?" She said that the guy I like tells her that he does not like me and that he does not know how to tell me. My heart just dropped, this made me feel sad, mad, confused, betrayed, hurt, and played. I confronted him about it and all he could say was that he was sorry. He also said that he feels like a douche. I just don't want to talk to him anymore. How can someone flirt with you and tell you all these cute things and be lying straight to your face?

I do deserve better.
But how do I find better?